Make a list of things you purchased on Ebay

* A little leather jacket for Clarence, when we took that trip to Seattle for the weekend and I didn't want him to get cold.
* And the matching little booties, shut up.
* Parts that were supposed to let me supercharge the lawn mower. (Kevin, where did you *put* those, anyway? I can't find them.)
* Vintage Springsteen posters (six, I think?)
* Various other bits of Springsteeniana and autographs, only about half of which are authentic, cheating EBay *assholes*
* The antique fountain pen I gave Kevin for his birthday

60.3

Make a list of your favorite things to hear.

- "The drink's on the house."
- "We do have an upgrade to first class available, Mr. Evans."
- A well-executed guitar solo
- The crowd at a rock show when they're really into it and on fire
- Clarence announcing that Kevin's home
- Kevin's voice on the phone
- Kevin's voice at times of a personal nature

59.2 Make a list of things people assume about you.

(Past and present)

* That I'm not smart enough to get what they're implying about me
* That I'm not smart enough to get what they're implying about Kevin
* That I'm straight
* That I'm gay
* That I'm with Kevin for his money
* That Damien and I had some kind of a scheme together...I still don't get that one
* That I have any control whatsoever over Clarence

56.1

Make a list of New Year's resolutions

* Work out more
* Get Clarence in shape
(I guess those two can go together, actually)
* Only produce albums I'm really proud of
* Make Kevin smile every day
* Do not fight with Kevin's family
* Do not fight with Dane
* Work on another book
* Learn to play the guitar again Learn to get along with Kevin's cat

56.3

Make a list of songs you sing in the shower

* She's The One
* Sunday Bloody Sunday
* My Lover Man
* Psycho Killer
* Glory Days

54.3

Make a list of places you've been shopping at.

1. Borders
2. LA Guitar Garage
3. Sacred Saint Tattoo and Art Gallery
4. PetCo
5. The Gap (I'm giving Renee a sweater. A sweater is neutral, right, Kevin? Oh, except how do I ask her what size she wears without getting punched?)

And baby, can we give Clarence this?

Well, Texas is still pretty much the way I left it, it turns out. Mom put Christmas lights on a potted cactus, with a cowboy hat instead of an angel, and made spiked iced tea instead of eggnog. She's having a lot of fun these days. I'm glad.

Other than that, things are kind of...I'm glad I came, but I wish I wasn't here, if that makes any sense. I guess it doesn't. I'm glad I'm here for Brian, in the two hours a day I'm allowed to see him, but I'd rather I was being here for him in LA.

It's looking like Kevin's not going to make it out here. I thought he was going to try, but...stuff keeps coming up, I guess. He's got Dane and Layla, and the pets, so that's good, for all of them. I bet they'll have a really nice Christmas. And I'll see him when I get back. It's just a day, and if the History Channel stuff Mom's watching is right, it's a totally arbitrary one. No big deal.

It feels a lot more symbolic than it is. I need to get over it.

I just miss him. I know he's got his family and Dane and Layla and the pets and that means he won't be lonely, he won't miss me, I just wish...it didn't feel kind of like a fork in the road. That's borrowing trouble again. Forget it.

Too much iced tea, definitely. Water now, and calling Renee to see if I'm invited to tomorrow's family dinner or if my presence is not required. Brian's coming over here on Wednesday, and we'll get to play another round of "How icy can Mom be to Renee before all of us in the room get frostbite?" Great.

2. Make a list of obsessions.
- Bruce Springsteen (me)
- Making that guitar riff work on the last track of Layla's album (me, though it SHOULD be Layla, too, ahem)
- That one spot on Kevin's side, under his ribs, that you have to kind of hunt for (me, me, me)
- Coffee (Kevin)
- Dinosaurs (Brian)
- Bacon (Clarence)
- My toes, when I'm trying to sleep, goddamn evil creature (Stevie)

1. Make a list of people you would take a bullet for.
- Kevin
- Brian
- Dane
- Layla
- My mom
- Clarence (don't look at me like that, Kevin)

49

1. Make a list of text messages you have to delete.

- "get beer on ur way home?" (from Kevin)
- "where the fuck are u the game startdd dumbasp" (from Dane)
- "running 15 min late, sry, tell brian its okay" (from Renee)
- "not now, in a meeting" (from Kevin)
- "i mean it, not now" (also from Kevin)
- "really i'm serious god you're bad" (ditto)

And then I have a few I'm not ever going to delete, no matter what.

This poem hit me really weird today:

Gone
When I am gone your pillows will smell like me.

When I am gone the ice cubes in your glass and
the sway of your curtains will sound like me.

When I am gone your toothbrush and milk carton will taste like me.

When I am gone everyone who passes by your window
and everyone on your television will look like me.

When I am gone the curve of your telephone,
the blade of your razor,
and the fur of your cat will feel like me.

When I am gone you will tell your landlady
that you're leaving at the end of the month.

You will swear your apartment is haunted.

(Nicole Blackman)

I think it made me think of Donna.

I mean, lyrics are better than poetry, anyway. It's better if it rhymes.

Make a list of things in your Google search engine
* I have all of the members of the E Street Band set up as Google Alerts, if that counts
* My name
* Kevin's name (it's good to keep an eye out for...stuff)
* Certain websites of discretion and taste
* Suppliers of soundproofing material
* The guy who did Mike Cooley's new guitar. *Damn*, that thing looks good
* A bunch of bands I'm trying to get to go on tour using the power of my mind
* "dog exercise inducemen techniques"

Make a list of things on your Amazon wish list
* This book
* And this one
* This CD
* This jacket
* This toy for Clarence
* This book for Kevin
* And this book for Kevin and I to share

2. Make a list of things you like to display.

* My tattoos
* My wedding ring
* My vintage record covers
* The guitar I found in that antique store and passed up, but Kevin got it for me for my birthday
* The squirrel head Clarence left on the back porch this morning (just the head! he did such a good job of taking it right off!)
* My Grammy. (Not the one from Ryanne's album. The other one. The one from Ryanne's album doesn't count.)

http://community.livejournal.com/ontdbb/510087.html

Baby, this makes me want to...do my civic duty, if you're so inclined.

Make a list of things you can deny

* Looking at that girl
* Looking at that guy
* Slipping Clarence food under the table
* Thinking about something in the past
* Forgetting to do something
* Missing any of my bad habits
* Hiding the coffee

...hey, I said I could deny them, not that anyone believes me when I do.

Monday
Labor Day cookout with Kevin's family (take Clarence; maybe bathe Clarence first, again)
Prep notes for all meetings this week

Tuesday
Meet with MTV and the executive producer
Meet with Ryanne and the band to discuss set list
Tour the venue

Wednesday
Meet with MTV/exec producer for changes since yesterday
Conference call with New York event planners
Meet with the crappy little band that's doing opening act
Review light and sound specs for the venue

Thursday
Meet with MTV/exec producer for changes since yesterday
Meet with Cobra Starship (talk them into not playing "I Kissed A Boy" or "It's Warmer In The Basement")
Conference call in the car about cameras
Change in the car
Meet Kevin/Carolyn/fancypants client for dinner at Corteau

Friday
Meet with MTV/exec producer for changes since yesterday
Conference call with New York for changes since Wednesday
Meet with the headliner band that they keep promising me will be confirmed by Thursday (fuck)
Initial talks with wardrobe and hair/makeup for anything out-of-bounds
Get home in time for date night with Kevin

Things I have done while Kevin's been gone:

* Grown a beard
* Painted the carriage house/studio
* Spilled paint on the dog (he's now kind of an interesting greenish color, three baths later)
* Broken the lawn mower AGAIN
* Re-done the whole organizational system for the book, DVD, and CD collections
* Re-done the whole organizational system for the shelves in Kevin's office (don't tell him, it's a surprise)
* Washed all of our sheets and blankets and towels
* Air-dried them in the backyard
* Re-washed them and dried them in the dryer, since air-drying made them all stiff and scratchy and weird
* Mopped the kitchen
* Mopped the basement
* Vacuumed the whole house
* Watched a lot of really bad porn

He's not going to be back for like four more days. I'm doomed.

37.2

Make a list of any wardrobe items that you plan to buy

* New jeans
* T-shirts, the kind that come three in a pack
* More socks. I have got to figure out how to make the dog stop eating my socks.
* Boxers
* I think it's probably time to retire this leather jacket and get a new one
* Sweatshirt of some kind. The sound room in the carriage house is fucking cold.
* Apparently I need a new suit. Or so Kevin keeps telling me. I'm skeptical, but he's the boss.

Things I have to wait for

* Clarence to finish doing his business and come in out of the rain
* Little Steven to get off my pillow
* Kevin to get home from work
* Morning to come, when I can't sleep
* Kevin to help me, when I can't wake up
* The water to heat up in the bathroom (we need a new water heater, babe)
* The drumbeat
* The guitar solo
* The next tour

A list of things that annoy you:
* Little Steven (the cat, not the guitarist)
* Show tunes (sorry, baby)
* Sandwiches made with the heel of the loaf of bread
* When the socks don't get unrolled all the way before they go in the washer, so they don't dry all the way in the dryer, and you go to put them on and they're still WET down at the end
* When Clarence hides my shoes
* When Kevin works with Kyle. Or Carolyn.
* When they play that stupid song on the radio.

A list of things you do that annoy other people:
* Think Talk about Damien
* Leave my wet towels on the floor
* Put the leftovers away without sharing them with the dog
* Put the leftovers away *after* sharing them with the dog
(Different individuals are annoyed by those two)
* Existing, if you ask Kevin's family
* Wear clip-on ties

Bribes:

* Bacon
* Wine
* Sex
* Pot
* A ride in the car
* Offering to clean the kitchen
* Nora's cooking

Punishments:
* No sex
* Being locked in the bathroom
* A spanking with a rolled-up newspaper
* No coffee
* Having to do the laundry
* Going to a Walker family gathering

Now, for extra fun, try to figure out which member of my friends and family goes with each of those.